JK Rowling and Stephanie Meyer (Twilight author)... they may be able to aid us contact other authors like them.

Yes, we will need to make contact with those who have medication treatments and cures for any chicken related illness. Chemists could help if doctors prove to be difficult. Nutritionists and dieticians may be a problem unless we can get a supply of iron supplements etc that may be lacking in chicken.

If there is such a person who is actually allergic to chicken and we can’t find a cure, we’ll have to bite the bullet and shoot them. It’ll be hard and probably immoral but it will be necessary for this cause to succeed... we need EVERYONE!

I just thought of an outrageous idea... do you think the people/companies/secret organisations that make drugs and cigarettes addictive could perhaps make us a back-up chicken drug for the inconvincible? This may also be a solution for vegetarians and vegans.

Yes, we have Dona, Mel, Roz, Peter (he’ll eat anything so he is in), Leah... I’ll count my entire family too. Ooh, yes celebrities is a great idea... they’ll cover the stupid idol-prone zealots that we may be too intelligent to convince.

We’ll try and come up with a genius logo to reign on during the ages.

I just went to a takeaway place and there was no chicken that I could see... I asked where the chicken was... after looking at me strangely (probably because he’d never seen me arrive) and told me it was hidden in the chow mien. I told him it was a good plan. He still thought I was strange but sold me chow mien anyway. Good man.